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aaa | Commitment:
Commitment encompasses everything, from sales
and support to personal service and training.
Some Machine Tool Distributors select lines
to sell because they have a famous name
or have sold thousands of machines. I selected
these lines from a servicemans viewpoint.
*Atrump and Fryer CNC for their reliability,
and serviceability,
Box Ways for accuracy, Guideways for Speed
Large memories for storing long programs
*Acra Machinery - mills and lathes for their
quality and use of Spindle Inverter Drives
for less maintenance
Giving you the best value for your dollar
Machinist Jokes: Machinist Humor
You know you are a machinist when:
*It's dark when you drive to and from work
*Conversations with fellow workers often begin
with "Please put the gun down and
then we can talk"
*Your wife makes you take your shoes off
before you walk across her carpet
*You know the sound a tap makes
right before it breaks
*You see a well dressed person and you
know he is a visitor
*Question you're most often asked:
"You still work here?"
*"Only thing you've had published is a letter
to Penthouse Forum"
*Because freakin miracle worker
is not an official job title
*Boss hires Dr Kevorkian as personnel consultant
*The Glamour, the Groupies, the Paparazzie
*You want it right, or right now
*You've worked at the same machine 4 years
and worked for 3 different companies
*Your supervisor hasn't the ability
to do your job
*Rumors, Rumors, Rumors
*"Doing your nails" requires an
air compressor and a power sander.
*In his life, will eat own weight in Slim Jims
*Weekends are those days your wife
makes you stay home
*Guard at guard shack nervously
fingers his revolver when you pass by
*After your hands become coated with coolant
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
*Employee discount days discontinued
at Ammo Attic
* Dream vacation is a room full of
fluorescent lights and unlimited
supply of coffee
*You get excited about a 2% raise
----------------------
*Too many decisions are measured with
a micrometer, marked with chalk, and
cut with an axe
*What do CNC Programmers use for
birth control? Their personalities
*Perfect only occurs when your calipers
are too cheap to measure the errors
*A train stops at a train station
A bus stops at a bus station
My desk is a workstation
*Applying machining technology
means finding the right wrench
to pound in the correct screw
*Has any of this time-saving technology
ever let you go home one minute early?
*Management: We don't really
understand the problem so lets
give it to the programmers
*Christmas is like a day at the shop
You do all the work and the fat guy
in the suit gets all the credit
*Turnover is good for the company,
as it proves that we are doing a good
job in training people.
*"It is easier to change the specification
to fit the CNC program than vice versa."aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Arch City Service
St Louis, MO
314-638-1227 800-746-9550
rich@archcity.net
CNC Jokes CNC Humor
You know a Machinist has been at his CNC
for too long when:
* Hasn't left his machine since he found Internet
Casino Video Poker
* When programs disappear blames the
CNC disk fairy
*Calls the drill press mommy
and the Bridgeport his uncle
* Runs System check on that Tetris game
* Claims to be the love child of Giddings & Lewis
* Downloads naked pictures through the Ethernet
* Monitor plays Pay-Per-View
* Finds Fanuc software upgrade to run GOOGLE
* Drinks Simple Green like it was Root Beer
* Wife makes sarcastic remark about his software
*Illegally downloads Mastercam 2D
to run the Integrex
Three most dangerous people in the world
* A CNC programmer with a Soldering Iron
* A CNC repairman with a program patch
* A CNC operator with the password
How are a Bridgeport Mill and a Tavern alike
-- Drawbar
Signs your shop boss is spying on you
* Wherever you go you're followed
by a Tool Cart with sneakers
* The bracelet he gave you for Christmas beeps
when you leave your CNC machine
* Shop coffee has a hint of Hazelnut
and sodium pentothal
* Find yourself getting Tasered more
than with previous shop leadman
*The bandsaw just coughed
*"Feedhold is your best friend"
It won't steal your lunch
It won't steal your girlfiend
But if you are quick enough it will save your butt
*Said sweeter things to my CNC Machine on a finish pass
Than any woman ever
A man applies for a job as a CNC Machinist
The Boss asks "Can you play Solitaire"
Machinist says "Yes", confused.
Can you play lightsaber with your wrench
and another mans screwdriver
"Oh, yes" says the Machinist
"Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement,
grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?"
"Sir, I've been doing that for years!" says the wanna-be machinist.
"Well in that case, I can't use you.
I have 12 men doing that already!" says the boss
CNC Humor
You might be a Haas Redneck CNC Operator when:
* The Monitor is up on blocks
* Program hardcopies have tobacco stains on them
* Empty toolchanger slots have Ford truck parts
in them
* The numeric keypad only goes up to six
* There is a gunrack mounted above the monitor
* There's a can of Skoal in the floppy disk drive
A CNC machinist is someone who
fixes things that aren't broken CNC's follow your orders not
your intentions
CNC programming is 10% science
25% ingenuity and 65% getting the
ingenuity to work with the science
  
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