Arch City Service Servicing Machine Tools for 37 Years 314-638-1227 800-746-9550 St Louis, MO
Offering Electrical, Mechanical Troubleshooting, repair and tune-up of CNC Equipment and Manual Machines as well as Programming and Operator training
Knee Mill Parts Catalog With Pricing. To order parts click on any of the links below
Arch City Service 314-638-1227 800-746-9550 Please leave message .
MACHINIST JOKES CNC Service Jokes
Machinist Humor *What's the difference between a Mazatrol and a virus? A virus rarely fails. *Tech Support is just a Voice Mail or busy signal away *Fadal Tech Support on the phone: Bug? That's no bug that's a feature *CNC troubleshooting: If it's not on fire, it's a software problem *Nice CNC's don't go down *Life would be so much easier if I had the source code
*Maintenance free CNC: When it goes down it can't be fixed * Be aware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers *Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will. "Save a tree - disband an ISO9001 working group today."
Things you don't want to hear from CNC Tech Support: *Do you have a brick handy? *"Hang on -- spilled my beer" *"..That's right not even Mc Gyver could fix it" *"For each question you ask, I'll remove an article of clothing" *"Bummmer Duuuuude" "How'd you get this number?!" *Looks like you're gonna need some new Dilythium Crystals, Cap'n "Excuse my whispering, I mustn't wake mother" *Press 1 for support Press 2 if you are with 60 minutes Arch City Service Press 3 if you are with ISO 9001 314-630-3575 *In layman's terms we call that 800-746-9550 the Hindenburg effect *"Let's talk about MY problems" *Hold on a sec.. "MOM, Timmy's hitting me" * and that was me thinking all you needed was electrical tape and some zip ties *Please hold for Mr. Haas's Attorney
CNC Serviceman best Lines *"You're not using that CNC Tonight" *Customer in a rush, say "Sorry, I'm all alone here" *Customer asks what your doing, say "Hey buddy, I'm on my break" *Always give a verbal $100 estimate Then hand him a $300 bill *Open the CNC back cabinet and say "Who worked on this before"
Click this link to next page of jokes
Selling U.S. made Replacement parts for your Bridgeport Knee Mill
«- Belts Bearings Clock Spring Keys Plastic Bushings Varipulleys Lead Screws and Brass Nuts Handles Cam Ring and Pins Collet Alignment Screws Way Wipers Motor Replacement Parts Drawbars Brakes and Springs
Knee Mill Accessories Quill Feed Ratchet Handle Right Angle Head, Quick Nut Spider Handle, Collet Tray Riser Block, Power Drawbar Way Covers, Two-Life Drawbar Info and Pricing under Accessories Link «- 3-5 days UPS delivery with NDA available
Need help over the phone? Give a call
Parts and circuit boards for Bridgeport BOSS controls Setting up CNC to PC RS232 Communications BOSS cables and SoftwareFactory Trained at Bridgeport Machines, Cincinnati Millacron and Hardinge
Working with Controls Like Bridgeport BOSS, and EZ Track Cincinnati Acramatic and 2100
Anilam 3300, and 6300 controls Heidenhain, Fanuc, Control Techniques Mitsubishi, and Prototrak
Digital Readouts For Knee Mills $300 3 axis mill DRO $500 2 axis 10"x40" lathe DRO $300 Positron Single axis display / 12" scale$164 Z Axis Quill DRO $99.00 Look in Machinist Supplies catalog
CNC Retrofit for your Knee Mill
Easy Installation
Made by Servo Click on link
Replacement Heads for Mills Variable or Step Pulley Heads
Click on Link below \/
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Any comments or questions please fill out the form below Example Form
Name:
Email:
Comments:
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CNC Humor CNC Jokes
Q. How many CNC Tech Support people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Four *One to ask for the Lightbulbs serial # * One to ask you to reboot the Lightbulb * One to ask you if the lightbulb is grounded * And the last one says " It must be a hardware problem because all the lightbulbs here at the office are working just fine."
*There is an artistic element to CNC machining, but nobody cares what color the bridge is that killed fifty people
*Q: Why don't the British build CNC machines?
A: Because they can't figure out how to make them leak oil!
*Apparently I snore loudly, it scares everyone in the shop
* The easiest way to get your old CNC to run better, Check the prices of a new CNC
* A CNC consists of three main parts The enclosure The jammed toolchanger The blinking red light
*Why is the CNC cabinet always locked? The cash register is open Invoices laid out all over desk The safe is open but the CNC is locked What are you afraid someone will steal a relay?
*Error: Problem exists between keyboard and chair
This one is for all the shops doing Military Aircraft machining
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
The following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas Internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor.
The company took exception to it, however...
Aircraft--Space Systems--Missiles
Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified_Other
First name:____________ Initial:___ Last name:___________
Password:________ Code name:_________
Latitude:____ Longitude:____ Altitude:____
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
__F-14 Tomcat __F-15 Eagle __F-16 Falcon __F-117A Stealth __Classified
3. Date of purchase:___/___/___
4. Serial number:________________
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
__Received as gift/aid package __Catalog showroom __Sleazy arms broker __Mail order __Discount store __Government surplus __Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
__Heard loud noise, looked up __Store display __Espionage __Recommended by friend/relative/ally __Political lobbying by manufacturer __Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
__Style/appearance __Kickback/bribe __Recommended by salesperson __Speed/maneuverability __Comfort/convenience
__McDonnell Douglas reputation __Advanced weapons systems __Price/value __Back-room politics __Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
__North America __Central/South America __Aircraft carrier __Europe __Middle East __Africa
__Asia/Far East __Misc. Third World countries __Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
__Color TV __VCR __ICBM __Killer satellite __CD player __Air-to-air missiles __Space shuttle __Home computer __Nuclear weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
__Communist/Socialist __Terrorist __Crazed __Neutral __Democratic __Dictatorship __Corrupt __Primitive/tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
__Cash __Suitcases of cocaine __Oil revenues __Deficit spending __Personal check __Credit card __Ransom money __Traveler's check
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest
__Golf __Boating/sailing __Sabotage __Running/jogging __Propaganda/disinformation __Destabilization/overthrow __Default on loans __Gardening
__Crafts __Black market/smuggling __Collectibles/collections __Watching sports on TV __Wines __Interrogation/torture __Household pets
__Crushing rebellions __Espionage/reconnaissance __Fashion clothing __Border disputes __Mutually assured destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future
--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
Click this link to next page of jokes
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,Motor Replacement Parts, Drawbars,Brakes and Springs,Knee Mill Accessories,Quill Feed Ratchet Handle,Right Angle Head, Quick Nut,Spider Handle, Collet Tray,Riser Block, Power Drawbar
,Way Covers, Two-Life Drawbar, factory trained service bridgeport service, on site service
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