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Machinist, Metalworking, And Industrial Supplies Catalog |                Click this link to Cutting Tools catalog 
    Supplies like Calipers, Micrometers, Indicators, Vises,                                        Drills, End Mills, R8, 40 Taper, Turning Tools, Inserts
   Readouts, Power feeds, Tooling, Edge Finders                                                    Face Mills, Cutoff Blades  Wholesale Prices

Arch City Service    Servicing Machine Tools for 37 Years
314-638-1227      800-746-9550     St Louis, MO

 Offering Electrical, Mechanical Troubleshooting, repair and tune-up of CNC Equipment and Manual Machines
as well as Programming and Operator training



Knee Mill Parts Catalog With Pricing.
To order parts click on any of the
links below
Variable Speed Upper Housing
Variable Speed Lower Housing
Quill Housing
Leadscrew Assembly
Step Pulley Housing
Base Machine Assembly
Milling Machine Accessories
Drawbar  Riser Block   Way Covers  Collet Tray
Quill Handle  Spider Handle  Right Angle Head
Mill and Lathe Digital Readouts
DRO Power Feeds
Replacement Heads for Knee Mills Bridgeport and Import
Knee Mill CNC Retrofit
Knee Mill How To Tips

   
Arch City Service
314-638-1227 800-746-9550
Fax Toll Free 866-219-3613
Please leave message

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MACHINIST JOKES

Machinist Humor
*What's the difference between a
   Mazatrol and a virus? A virus rarely fails.
*Tech Support is just a Voice Mail
      or busy signal away
*Fadal Tech Support on the phone:
  Bug? That's no bug that's a feature
*CNC troubleshooting:                                                      
   If it's not on fire, it's a software problem
*Nice CNC's don't go down
*Life would be so much easier if I had
   the source code
*Maintenance free CNC:                                           
    When it goes down it can't be fixed    
* Be aware of Programmers who
    carry screwdrivers
*Diagnostics are the programs
   that run when nothing else will.
"Save a tree - disband an ISO9001 working group today."

Things you don't want to hear from  
CNC Tech Support:

*Do you have a brick handy?                         
*"Hang on -- spilled my beer"
*"..That's right not even Mc Gyver                   
     could fix it"
*"For each question you ask,
    I'll remove an article of clothing"
*"Bummmer Duuuuude"
"How'd you get this number?!"
*Looks like you're gonna need some
  new Dilythium Crystals, Cap'n
"Excuse my whispering, I mustn't wake mother"
*Press 1 for support
  Press 2 if you are with 60 minutes                Arch City Service
  Press 3 if you are with ISO 9001                   314-630-3575
*In layman's terms we call that                       800-746-9550
    the Hindenburg effect
*"Let's talk about MY problems"
*Hold on a sec.. "MOM, Timmy's hitting me"
* and that was me thinking all you needed
    was electrical tape and some zip ties
*Please hold for Mr. Haas's Attorney

Click this link to next page of jokes


Selling U.S. made
Replacement parts for your Bridgeport Knee Mill

   «-

Belts   Bearings   Clock Spring
Keys  Plastic Bushings  Varipulleys
Lead Screws and Brass Nuts
   Handles  Cam Ring and Pins  
Collet Alignment Screws   Way Wipers
  Motor Replacement Parts  
Drawbars   Brakes and Springs


Knee Mill Accessories
Quill Feed Ratchet Handle
Right Angle Head, Quick Nut
Spider Handle, Collet Tray
Riser Block, Power Drawbar
Way Covers, Two-Life Drawbar
Info and Pricing under
Accessories Link
   «-

3-5 days UPS delivery
with NDA available

Need help over the phone?
   Give a call

Parts and circuit boards for
Bridgeport BOSS controls
Setting up CNC to PC
RS232 Communications
BOSS cables and Software

Factory Trained at
Bridgeport Machines,
Cincinnati Millacron
and Hardinge

Working with Controls Like
Bridgeport BOSS, and EZ Track
Cincinnati Acramatic and 2100
Anilam 3300, and 6300 controls
Heidenhain, Fanuc,
Control Techniques
Mitsubishi, and Prototrak

Digital Readouts For Knee Mills
SHARS 2 axis mill DRO $570
SHARS 3 axis mill DRO $770
SHARS 2 axis 10"x40" lathe DRO $650
Positron Single axis display / 12" scale$164
Z Axis Quill DRO $99.00
Look in Machinist Supplies catalog

CNC Retrofit for your Knee Mill
Easy Installation
Made by Servo Click on link

Replacement Heads for Mills
Variable or Step Pulley Heads
Click on Link below \/

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Any comments or questions please fill out the form below
Example Form Name:
Email:
Comments:

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CNC Humor   CNC Jokes

Q. How many CNC Tech Support people
does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Four
*One to ask for the Lightbulbs serial #
* One to ask you to reboot the Lightbulb
* One to ask you if the lightbulb
     is grounded 
* And the last one says " It must be a
   hardware problem because all the
   lightbulbs here at the office are
   working just fine."

*There is an artistic element to CNC machining,
   but nobody cares what color the bridge is that
   killed fifty people

*Q: Why don't the British build CNC machines?
   A: Because they can't figure out how
   to make them leak oil!

*Apparently I snore loudly, it scares everyone in the shop

* The easiest way to get your old CNC to run better,
    Check the prices of a new CNC

* A CNC consists of three main parts
  The enclosure
  The jammed toolchanger
  The blinking red light

*Why doesn't my CNC ever say
   Excellant Command or File Name

*Error:
  Problem exists between keyboard and chair

108820



This one is for all the shops doing Military Aircraft machining

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
The following was a page put on the McDonnell Douglas Internet home page by a worker with a sense of humor.
The company took exception to it, however...
Aircraft--Space Systems--Missiles
Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified_Other

First name:____________ Initial:___ Last name:___________

Password:________ Code name:_________

Latitude:____ Longitude:____ Altitude:____

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
__F-14 Tomcat __F-15 Eagle __F-16 Falcon __F-117A Stealth __Classified

3. Date of purchase:___/___/___

4. Serial number:________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased:
__Received as gift/aid package __Catalog showroom __Sleazy arms broker __Mail order __Discount store __Government surplus __Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
__Heard loud noise, looked up __Store display __Espionage __Recommended by friend/relative/ally __Political lobbying by manufacturer __Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
__Style/appearance __Kickback/bribe __Recommended by salesperson __Speed/maneuverability __Comfort/convenience
__McDonnell Douglas reputation __Advanced weapons systems __Price/value __Back-room politics __Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
__North America __Central/South America __Aircraft carrier __Europe __Middle East __Africa
__Asia/Far East __Misc. Third World countries __Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
__Color TV __VCR __ICBM __Killer satellite __CD player __Air-to-air missiles __Space shuttle __Home computer __Nuclear weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:
__Communist/Socialist __Terrorist __Crazed __Neutral __Democratic __Dictatorship __Corrupt __Primitive/tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
__Cash __Suitcases of cocaine __Oil revenues __Deficit spending __Personal check __Credit card __Ransom money __Traveler's check

12. Occupation
__Homemaker __Sales/marketing __Revolutionary __Clerical __Mercenary __Tyrant __Middle management
__Eccentric billionaire __Defense minister/general __Retired __Student

13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which
you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest
__Golf __Boating/sailing __Sabotage __Running/jogging __Propaganda/disinformation __Destabilization/overthrow __Default on loans __Gardening
__Crafts __Black market/smuggling __Collectibles/collections __Watching sports on TV __Wines __Interrogation/torture __Household pets
__Crushing rebellions __Espionage/reconnaissance __Fashion clothing __Border disputes __Mutually assured destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future
--as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800

Click this link to next page of jokes
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